“it”.
What a terrible word “it” is. “It” conjures up images of disgust and strangeness, horrors unimaginable and shielding your young ones from the despicable vision before them. You might as well call it, “the thing”. And they already made a movie about that.
I spent the last 45 minutes reading up about the stages of foetal development; The incredible development cycle such a tiny life goes through to become the most amazing organic machine known to science. But it doesn’t stop with science. There is the unmeasurable, unstudyable majestic beauty of that miracle science has yet to explain. A little spirit; a soul growing into a person. A stem cell which grows into a blastocyst, into a foetus with heart, lungs, brain and skin, and everything in between. But then on to instinctive actions, personality……….beauty.
It’s got to be some kind of magic.
It’s a miracle, the closest thing the world will ever get to the kind of nonsense written in ancient religious texts. But its one of many I’ve witnessed recently.
Our IVF treatment; Probably man-kind’s greatest achievement to date – giving such an opportunity where nature has left us wanting. The problem is that the reproductive machine is so amazing, so unimaginably complex, that it is sensitive to the smallest problem with the tiniest component. We will never know why we haven’t got this far on our own but at this point I no longer care.
Our collective scientific brilliance has enabled our race to maintain the machine through its most sensitive period, to provide couples like us with the greatest gift science will ever be able to give, to anyone. A legacy, and not one of money, nor fabric, nor possessions – none of those petit materialistic, disposable things of capitalism which we all find so important.
My wife, who is the only person in this world who could keep me sane and happy. I cant even imagine how I could provide the same for her, she has been through such a lot to get to this point, but she’s been a total rock throughout. I thought I was supposed to be her rock, but she doesn’t need one. Well, thats not true – we all need a rock. She just doesn’t lean on it. It’s enough for her just to know its there.
But once again I am amazed by the fulfillment offered by loving companionship, and happiness, and emotional support. Another miracle, one which science will (in my humble opinion) never offer the human race.
I am all out of sadness at the moment. For the first time, ever, I think, I broke into tears today. Tears of happiness. Too early in the process no doubt, but I say to throw caution to the wind. Any disappointment would be devastating, but, why worry about what you can’t do anything about, when it likely won’t happen? We are 4 out of 5, not 1 in 5.
The change in me is already noticeable. I am going to be the rock, and I will be who I need to be. After all, I have to be. I’ve got to live up to Maria’s example.
So what do I call this immeasurable little wonder of the natural world? “it”?
“thing”?
“her” or “he” are reserved for a life whose gender has already developed.
Well, since there’s no bump yet, I will have call you “nobump”, or possibly “little one” depending on the mood; Then possibly “bump”, but i’ll keep you posted on that.
How do couples handle waiting until the final hour to know the sex? I dont think I can – I want to know my babies name well before I see nobump’s face for the first time. But I’ll keep you posted on that as well.
Until then, I need to prepare for the excitement and wonder coming our way.
I am ready for you little one.
Daddy’s got you.
