So today is the embryo transfer (a bit later on this afternoon), and although we have already signed that we only want one transferred, they are going to ask us again whether we want one or two embryos. We will most definitely say one, but not that long ago I had this crazy idea in my head that I wanted twins. However, in the last few months I have come to realise that I would be really mad to actually, willingly, go for two.
What are the reasons for me to have decided against two embryos?
1) Health. It is proven that twins normally are born prematurely, which means they normally have more health problems for the first few years. They are normally born with very low weight and if they are really premature, it could lead to long term issues such as cerebral palsy or hearing/visual loss.
But it is not only the babies health that is at risk. Mine too. I would be more likely to develop high blood pressure and swelling that can be quite dangerous. And the much higher risk of cesarean section.
2) Financial. At the moment, if everything goes as plan and I do get pregnant with one baby, we are going to try to get as much maternity leave as possible, because both Jon and I believe that the first year is quite important for the child’s development. But after that, it wouldn’t be financially viable for me not to go back to work. The costs of childcare around here are prohibitive so we will need the second income whether we like it or not. With twins the costs double, and we would struggle to pay for childcare for two babies.
3) Support. Unfortunately, we do not have a family / friends network to rely on for support. In Spain, families work a bit differently, as they normally stay very close and it is very common for parents to support their children with the new born babies. However, here we do have a couple of friends, but they already have to deal with their own lives. But no grandparents to rely on. Imagine the chaos of dealing with twins on your own. Completely on your own… Maybe not…
So, yeah, when they ask tomorrow we will reply: Just the one embryo, thanks.
[…] Well, they are not “bad-bad”, but not what we were expecting. It turns out that alongside the blastocyst, I had one embryo at “morula” stage, which is not as good as blastocyst but it is the next best thing. The embryologist and the nurses recommended to transfer both of them to maximise the chance of pregnancy (basically, they didn’t want me to risk just going for the one embryo in case it failed). The problem with this? High risk of twins (see my previous post) […]