I’ve just had the most awkward conversation with my mum. The kind of conversation that you know won’t go away and you’ll be reminded of for a very long time.
Okay, I’ll fill you in.
My mum wants to come and visit. But she wants to be here for the delivery of the babies. I said that it would be better that she comes either before or after the birth, or maybe even both – come for a few days before the birth, and then come back if you fancy after they’re here. Unfortunately this didn’t match with her plans. She wants to be in hospital with me when the babies arrive.
This would put a lot of pressure on me, and I said to her that I would already be really stressed and I could do without the extra pressure. “Well, you stress really easily, then” she said, to which I replied: “If I don’t get stressed during the delivery of my twin babies, I don’t know when I will”.
I wish I could predict exactly when Pixie and Dixie will arrive. I wish I knew that the delivery will be stress-free, and all done and dusted in 2 hours. Going home straight away with two healthy babies that need no special care, and me being all full of energy. However, I have no idea. Most realistically, nothing like that will happen. I will have a c-section, I will have to stay one night or two in the ward, and who knows if P&D will need special care.
My mum does not speak a word of English, and still she thinks that it would be ok to wait in the hospital ward during the delivery (could be a very long one, I suppose), without anywhere to go, anything to eat, without being able to communicate with anyone but me.
I honestly could do without that.
And then, coming home with my babies and husband and getting used to the fact that it is 4 of us now. Getting used to OUR own family. Finding our feet and starting some sort of routine. I said that it would be awkward if she is here with the babies crying every two hours and all of that, to which she said that she didn’t mind. But I DO! I think I’ll have enough on my plate to, on top of that, be worrying about her.
The conversation finished a bit bitter-sweetly. She said “Ok, whatever you decide” but in a very dry tone. I asked whether she saw my point of view to which she said yes in a way that I know she was just humouring me so we wouldn’t start another argument. Really frustrating.
The worst thing is that I know that she will now go and tell everyone that I don’t want her to come. Full stop. Without the reasoning behind. And that annoys me.
No weekly update photo today. Probably Wednesday, as tomorrow we have NCT.